Each week our guest columnist The Incredible Hulk reviews the latest Hollywood films. He’s like Michael Medved only smarter. This week Hulk reviews “The Time Traveler’s Wife.”
Hulk go on date with girlfriend. Forced to see chick flick! Rauurr! When Hulk see new Mike Judge movie? But Hulk want nookie so Hulk go.
“Time Traveler’s Wife” boring! Man not like Bill and Ted! Man p*ssy! Why him no travel back to punch Hitler in b*lls?! Grrrr! Girlfriend tell Hulk to shush. Say Hulk not understand deep feelings of man. Say Hulk distant and unfeeling.
Hulk like Rachel McAdams, but why she not show Hulk boobies?! Hulk sleep. Girlfriend punch awake. Hulk smash chair in front of Hulk. Make lots of noise. Embarrass girlfriend. Hulk not care. Hulk go get popcorn.
Nine fifty for medium popcorn?! Gaurrr! Prices make Hulk mad! And the madder Hulk gets, the stronger Hulk gets! Hulk smash candy counter. Take $200 of candy!
Hulk go back to theater. Movie still on! Hulk finally watch man die! Hulk happy. Eat many M&Ms. Girlfriend angry. Hulk promised to cut down on junkfood. Girlfriend and Hulk yell in parking lot. No nookie for Hulk.
Posted by Tony DiGerolamo, who wishes he could punch Eric Bana in the b*lls for this movie.
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